Fred Fearnot's Revenge, or Defeating a Congressman

JOKES AND JESTS.

"Saw my husband downtown to-day, but passed him. I didn't recognize him." "How was that?" "He was smiling."

Elsie -- "After I wash my face I look in the mirror to see it it's clean. Don't you?" Bobby -- "Don't have to. I look at the towel."

"I'm going to get lots of Christmas presents," said little Willie. "I've got three uncles." "Bet I get more'n you." replied Johnny. "My sister's got six beaux."

"Strategy," said Private Murphy, up before the sergeant for examination, is whin yez don't let the inimy discover that ye are out ov amunishun, but kape on firin'!"

"I am soliciting contribution for the Drunkard's Home," began the charity worker. "Sure," replied the woman of the house. "There's my husband. Take him."

Waiter -- "What'll you have?" Rube Jayseed -- "Waal, I don't know which to take, whether roast beef, veal or mutton." Waiter -- "Take corn beef hash, and yer'll get ther whole lot."

"Since I learned to run my own automobile," said Scadsbeigh, "my acquaintance has extended." "How so?" inquired his friend. "I have come in contact with so many people."

"I have decided," said young Sapleigh, seriously, "to begin shaving." "In that case," she advised, "you should follow that old hunter's rule." "And what is that?" "First catch your hare!"

"I see," said Mr. Henpeck, as he laid his paper aside, "that Champ Clark says he intends to keep on being Speaker of the House." "Well, let him, if his wife is willing," Mrs. Henpeck, "but just get it firmly established in your mind that you are not married to any Mrs. Clark."